When Someone You Care About Is Struggling

This article is part of our psychoeducation series and is written for general guidance. If you are worried about someone's immediate safety, please go straight to the support section at the end of this page.

When someone we care about is not doing well mentally or emotionally, it can bring up a whole mix of feelings: anxiety, helplessness, uncertainty about what to say, and sometimes a quiet fear of getting it wrong. Those feelings are completely natural, and you are certainly not alone in having them.

What follows is some general information about what support can look like, and an acknowledgement of something that does not always get enough attention: the impact that this kind of situation can have on you.

Just Showing Up

People going through difficult times often benefit from feeling that someone is reliably present, rather than from receiving advice or solutions. Simply checking in, continuing to include someone in everyday life, and listening without immediately trying to fix things can all make a difference.

Conversation does not have to be focused on how someone is feeling to be valuable. Talking about everyday things, shared interests, or simply spending time together can matter just as much as a deeper discussion.

It can be tempting, when we are worried about someone, to want to take charge, to research options, make suggestions, or gently push them towards getting help. Those impulses come from a good place, but decisions about whether and when to seek help are ultimately theirs to make. Being a steady, non-pressuring presence often matters more than finding the perfect solution.

The Impact on You

Supporting someone who is struggling is not a neutral experience. It can be quietly exhausting, emotionally demanding, and at times isolating. Worry can become a background presence in daily life. Sleep can be affected. It is also common to feel uncertain about whether you are doing enough, or to feel guilty when you need time for yourself.

These are not signs that something is wrong with how you are managing the situation. They are a natural response to caring about someone who is having a hard time.

It is worth being honest with yourself about how you are finding things. Being clear about what you are realistically able to offer, and recognising when the weight of the situation is affecting you, matters. Where it is possible to share the load with others, whether mutual friends, other family members, or professionals involved in the person's care, this can make things more manageable.

Having someone to talk to about your own experience can also help. That might be a trusted person in your life, your GP, or a counsellor. Being concerned about someone else does not make your own needs any less real or any less worthy of attention.

Useful Information and Support

If you are concerned about someone's immediate safety, calling 999 is the appropriate response. For urgent but non-emergency mental health support, NHS 111 (option 2) operates 24 hours a day.

The following organisations offer information and support for people who are concerned about someone else, as well as for those who are struggling themselves.

Samaritans are available at any time on 116 123, free from any phone. You can also text Shout on 85258 for confidential support around the clock.

Mind offers guidance for friends and family at www.mind.org.uk

Carers UK provides information and support for those supporting others at www.carersuk.org

If you have been finding things difficult, or have concerns about someone close to you, and feel ready to talk, your GP is a good starting point and we are here.

Sevenoaks Counselling is an affordable professional service offering counselling both online and in Sevenoaks, Kent. We are made up of qualified, experienced therapists who work with adults, couples, teenagers, children and families.

If you'd like to find out more about our services or make an appointment, please get in touch with our team or fill in an enquiry form here:

Phone Number: 01732 450118 Email: info@sevenoakscounselling.org.uk