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Ready for use?
What
are you afraid of? Could it be the future, the past, or your present circumstances?
Could it be a person, a place, a memory, or even Cod? The servant was afraid
of the king in the parable Jesus told in Luke 1 9; he told him bluntly,
'I was afraid of you.' His fear seemed to have paralysed him from any meaningful
action as he lamely handed the gold coin back with the words, 'Here is your
gold coin; I kept it hidden in a handkerchief.' The king had harsh words
for him.
What has this got to do with the SCCS? Well, let's ask ourselves what our
'gold coin' might be? Could it be time, relationships, money, talent, our
minds, bodies or even life itself?
Do we put too much effort into trying to keep it shiny and protected or
are we prepared to allow it to become a bit scratched and tarnished? Life
can deal us some hefty blows as we engage with society in general and with
other people in particular. I am pleased that the SCCS is around to help
some of those who find themselves in danger of becoming too battered or
tarnished as they struggle with difficult circumstances and relationships.
Stephen Scott, Chairman of Directors
Indian
Interlude
Andrew Proctor
The
SCCS Directors kindly gave me leave of absence last February and March.
I went with my wife Elizabeth, who is a consultant psychiatrist, to India.
We were guests of The Leprosy Mission (TLM). We stayed for one month at
their hospital in Kothara, Maharashtra state and then joined a TLM UK Supporters'
Tour of TLM installations in and around the Delhi area.
We have been TLM supporters for a good many years, in particular giving
to Kothara as a special project at one time. So it was most moving to go
there and see the place for real. We .had a special interest in the counselling
TLM India have introduced to their work since 2003. We met and understudied
Mitalee Benjamin the counsellor at Kothara in her work (she saw 1,760 patients
last year) and we were privileged to help lead at
the TLM India Counsellors' Conference held in Alahabad during February.
Leprosy patients suffer terribly from the social stigma of the disease as
well as its physical ravages. Offering counselling is proving a fruitful
and helpful new departure for TLM India.
Elizabeth and I found the whole experience a fascinating and enriching exercise
in cross-cultural approaches to counsel¬ling, not least in being able
to compare our approach with what TLM are doing in their situation.
We did a blog of our visit which can be accessed at : www. proctersinindia.blogspot.com
Book Review
Growing
a caring church:
practical guidelines for
pastoral care
(Publ: BRF2010)
Wendy Billington
I am so glad that Wendy has written this book and given us a distillation
of her own personal experiences as well as all that she has learnt over
the years coordinating the pastoral care at St Nicholas, and being part
of the SCCS. She cannot do everything, although some sometimes act as if
she can! Nor can the professional counsellors. But the every¬day care
of ordinary people meeting the ups and downs of an ordinary life can be
met to a significant extent by other ordinary people. But there are two
important processes; firstly we need to become aware that we can and should
help each other along - that is our calling and task as Christians between
conversion and death; secondly we need the kind of helpful, affirming, manageable
and practical advice that Wendy provides in this excellent book.
Margaret Killingray
ANNUAL OPEN MEETING 2010
This
year's Annual Open Meeting in the newly refurbished Drive Methodist Church
provided an opportunity for our supporters to discover some of the wide
variety of issues which our counsellors deal with on a regular basis. In
the first half of the meeting, three SCCS counsellors spoke on subjects
in which they have taken a special interest.
Claudine Gavin addressed some of the problems arising from
eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia and compulsive eating). Those suffering
from anorexia needed to find a way of escaping emotional pain and hiding
anger. Bulimia, by contrast, was a process of taking in and then rejecting.
Those who indulged in compulsive eating were often lonely and tended to
rely on food rather than people as the solution to all their problems. When
counselling those with eating disorders, Claudine emphasised that the starting
point was the client admitting the problem and then working through past
pain to feel accepted, not judged, and eventually to achieve a sense of
their own 'self-hood'.
Pam Coling spoke about adoption and helping clients who
come for counselling with problems arising from their adoption. Adopted
children and adults were psychologically and emotionally connected to their
birth parents. The parents could experience strong feelings of separation
and loss, guilt and shame. Adopted children often had to face particular
problems in their adolescent years. In the case of trans-racial adoptions
even more complex problems could arise. Pam explained that 'attachment focused'
counselling was often found to be most effective. The counsellor sought
to provide a safe place for the client to talk about problems and move towards
being and feeling accepted.
Liz Garrett gave some interesting insights into the use
of art therapy including the role of story and narrative in counselling.
She gave us a fascinating example of her work by describing a sand tray
into which the client was asked to arrange an assortment of objects. She
had
used the sand tray when counselling a particular client who had experienced
years of being 'put down' by her sisters. When asked to select objects to
depict people and events in her back¬ground, it became obvious by her
selection that she still did not regard herself as having grown up because
in every case she chose a child to represent herself.
The main speaker at the meeting was the Revd David Lyall, but before he
addressed the meeting, Stephen Day, an SCCS Director, took the opportunity
to thank those present and the churches represented for their financial
support in response to the earlier appeal. He was able to report that c.
£7,000 had been raised and the money would be used to recruit new
part-time counsellors to work with some of the clients currently held on
the (regrettably long) waiting list.
David Lyall introduced himself and referred to his background
as a Church of Scotland minister, involved in training for much of his career.
His chosen subject was 'Supervision and Ministry'. Working in a parish as
a young minister, it had soon become clear to him that he was automatically
blamed when anything went wrong; also that he was not supposed to admit
that he was having problems. The need for pastoral support and supervision
in his own ministry soon became abundantly clear to him.
Supervision in this sense is not telling people what to do and then telling
them off if it goes wrong. The relationship established between the minister
or counsellor and his or her supervisor is characterised by truth, confidentiality
and openness. Visiting the supervisor provides the minister or counsellor
with an opportunity to reflect on their practice and learn from their experience.
David Lyall emphasised that everyone in full time ministry should have regular
supervision but the same could equally apply to the many other people involved
in pastoral situations in church communities.
The word 'supervision' might for some people sound 'heavy', about finding
fault and weeding out incompetent practitioners. There obviously was a quasi-disciplinary
aspect to supervision but it was important to remember that good supervision
affirmed good pastoral practice and provided support and confidence. For
churches there was no doubt that good supervision led to good pastoral care
which in turn was often profoundly evangelistic in its outcome. Indeed,
good pastoral care could be regarded as 'an expression of grace'.
Stephen Scott, the Chairman of SCCS Directors, who had
presided at the meeting, thanked David Lyall warmly for his contribution
and the proceedings came to an end.
Stephen Day
A Privilege To Be Part Of SCCS
It is
a long time since I was first introduced to the world of counselling. As
an army officer I was no stranger to the sight of grown, tough men in tears.
The first part of the Clinical Theology course, completed just before my
ministerial training, did not make me a counsellor, but it certainly equipped
me for pastoral ministry. So much of that ministry has been a ministry of
listening presence, in home and hospital, office and barrack room, at the
church door, on the front line with soldiers, police officers and paramedics,
as well as the victims of war, crime, illness and accident.
It has therefore been a privilege to be part of SCCS over the past few years.
Although inevitably detached from the work of the counsellors, it has been
good to meet them, hear their stories, support them, and pray with them
and for them.
The group of Directors has proved to be a wonderful Christian fellowship,
which has sustained me in my own ministry. I shall miss our meetings, often
wrestling with difficult issues but always under-girded with prayer. I shall
miss the prayer breakfasts and open public meetings, and the people who
have become so much a part of my life.
I shall be officially supernumerary from September, but not exactly retired.
Margaret and I move to Tenterden where I shall be giving part-time pastoral
cover to five Methodist churches and one shared with the C of E. I shall
often think of SCCS and the first Saturday of each month will be an opportunity
to remember the Service in my prayers. You may still see me from time to
time in a choir, or, in my continuing chaplaincy role, emerging from an
ambulance or police car; in the meantime, God bless you all.
Peter Hills